Save the Endangered North American White Racist!

August 26, 2094 – 


Today marks the 50th anniversary of the U.S. Census Bureau officially declaring white people a numerical minority in the UniStates. On this day in 2044, whites officially dropped below 50% of the total population. Over the last five decades, the proportion of whites has fallen precipitously further as intermarriage and immigration have dramatically increased. Now just one out of four UniStatesians are ethnically white.

As the white population has declined, so has the number of white supremacists, white nationalists and neo-Nazis. The flash-point came on 4/9/49, when white powerists coordinated nationwide terrorist mass-shootings that killed more than 100,000 Americans. This virtually unified public opinion against militant whites overnight, and quickly led to the passage of laws banning hate groups and criminalizing hate speech.

These socio-historical-political forces decimated white racists. Government agencies now demographically classify them as a superminority. The result: fewer than 200,000 avowed white racists remain – around 0.05% of the country’s 350 million residents.


Most people celebrate white racism’s decline. They would like to see them wiped from the face of the Earth. They wonder why WARP would protect such virulent subhumans from total annihilation. Why not just let them die out as Darwin intended – or even make the government eradicate them?

WARP’s view is that the utter obliteration of the North American White Racist would pose grave danger to the substantial progress the UniStates has made towards realizing Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s dream of a truly colorblind civilization. Remember: judge people not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. But how do you know if someone’s character is good if you don’t have a bad character to judge it against?

Studies show that we need real live white racists around as a reminder of humanity’s brutal past to strengthen our collective immune system against viral racism and inoculate our nation against an epidemic of pigmentation-based bigotry. Otherwise, our proud heritage of racial inclusiveness and tolerance will be threatened by the potential resurgence of self-destructive instincts that originate in our evolutionary biology and inherently lurk in the deepest, darkest depths of the human soul.

Just as eternal vigilance is the price of liberty, so constant remembrance of racism’s evil is required to prohibit its recurrence. White racist assholes serve as living reminders of the malevolence that humanity is capable of.

Museums, books, films and other media can inform us of racism’s horrors. But most people see these as cultural artifacts that have no bearing on the present. They believe this genocidal ideology could never return.

That is why WARP pursues our mission-driven vision to protect, preserve and ultimately control the endangered North American White Racist.

WARP’s Solution

Conservationists have successfully brought threatened animal and plant species back from the brink of extinction. WARP is just as committed to saving the last of the North American White Racists. That is why we have established a number of securely walled preserves in key swing states where white racists are segregated and protected. This serves three strategic purposes:

1) It guards endangered White Racists against the lethal physical violence perpetrated by AntiFa and other radicalized organizations that peaked in the 2040s and still contributes to Aryan extremists’ dwindling numbers.

2) It provides a safe space where racists can practice their vile lifestyle in isolation, keeping it unadulterated by competing belief systems. This allows psychologists, anthropologists and other professional social scientists to safely study white racism in its purest form and develop effective antidotes.

3) Virologists routinely quarantine deadly contagions in laboratories to analyze them and prevent outbreaks. Similarly, containing white racists on reservations lets researchers study their psychotic philosophy while preventing ethically-compromised whites from infection.

Racing Towards a Racist Remedy

WARP recently launched a pilot program, in partnership with the Southern Poverty Law Center, aimed at reintegrating a carefully selected control group of 100 white racists on our reservations back into civil society on a contingency basis. We closely monitor these subjects using tiny drones (disguised as common insects) and advanced neuro-implants. Embedded GPS tags allow us to track subjects’ movements. Subdural brainwave microcameras enable us to see and hear everything they do or say while recording their biofeedback (from heart-rate to emotional response). The six months’ worth of raw data we’ve accumulated so far shows immense promise. It provides invaluable insight into how the racist mindset reacts when exposed to a healthy worldview.

We are currently expanding this experiment by recruiting a small number of white non-racists to live incognito on one of our reservations for one to four weeks. The results will help us determine the general population’s level of resistance to infectious racist dogma. If you are interested in volunteering, please contact WARP for more information and psychological screening. If you have neither the time, inclination or stomach to directly associate with North American White Racists, we of course completely understand. WARP deals with these flaming assholes on a daily basis, so we know how difficult and even personally hazardous this can be.

Engage the WARP Drive!

Please donate to WARP today. Because the North American White Racist is endangered – and we’re racing for a cure to white racism.

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