BROKEN NEWS! President Trump Declares World War Peace

“In the West Wing, many of the president’s most controversial decisions have been attributed to bad information, partially because the president is easily swayed by the last person he has talked to — or the last thing he has read.”

BROKEN NEWS! October 1, 2017 – 10:37 a.m. After a 23-minute meeting with the Dalai Lama in the White House Rose Garden today, President Donald Trump tweeted that he is completely committed to pursuing world peace.

Trump tweet peace

In a speech at the International Energy Summit in Paris, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said “This official statement definitively commits the United States to long-term global security in a way that no other administration has ever even approached. I am honored to serve a true leader with such unshakable ethical convictions.”

Other commentators were more skeptical. “We’ve been here before,” said author and television host Reza Aslan. “Every time Trump says something even remotely sane, pundits claim he’s finally pivoted to acting like a real president. I’ll believe it when I see it.”

BROKEN NEWS! October 1, 2017 11:43 a.m. – After watching a six-minute YouTube video of conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, President Donald Trump officially declared war on Puerto Rico.

Trump tweet PR

At the daily White House briefing, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said “President Trump is trying to unite Americans, but the liberal fake news media just wants to tear us all apart. I can’t believe how selfish and un-American you are. You should be ashamed of yourselves. I know what I am, but I don’t even know what you are.”

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