If you’re still not sure whether you’re human or (ghasp!) extraterrestrial, take this 100% mathematically accurate screening test to find out for sure!
1) Do your everyday surroundings seem inexplicably insane? For example, when you’re on the highway and drive under a gigantic concrete overpass, with hundreds of cars and trucks zooming around above you like massive mechanical metal insects, do you think to yourself, “What is that?! It’s like, completely crazy! Just what the hell is going on here?!”
2) Do most people seem utterly absurd to you? For instance (and this is just one of so many instances), when you see a young male human intentionally wearing his pants with the waistband down around his undergroin so that his boxers (and sometimes even the crack of his buttocks) are plainly visible, do you think to yourself, “Why? Just…WHY?!”
3) Does life seem like a cosmic mistake – or existential joke? For example, when you found out that the current President of the United States is a reality TV star who is actually – factually – in the World Wrestling Entertainment Hall of Fame, was your first thought “You can’t possibly be serious. Are you freaking kidding me?! We’re all doomed!”
If you answered “Yes” to any or all three of these questions, then you are definitely an ALIEN!